


Marry Me

by lovelikestheresnosuchthingasabrokenheart



Category: NWSL - Fandom, USWNT - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-22 10:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13164783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelikestheresnosuchthingasabrokenheart/pseuds/lovelikestheresnosuchthingasabrokenheart
Summary: She wants to get married, she wants it perfectShe wants her grandaddy preaching the serviceYeah, she wants magnolias out in the countryNot too many people, save her daddy some moneyOoh, she got it all planned outYeah, I can see it all right now





	1. Marry Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'll wear my black suit, black tie, hide out in the back  
> I'll do a strong shot of whiskey straight out the flask  
> I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees
> 
> Yeah, she wanna get married  
> But she don't wanna marry me
> 
>  
> 
> (A short work based on Marry Me by Thomas Rhett) 
> 
> This does go back and forth with past and present but should be easy to follow along

“YOU’RE WHAT?” Someone screamed, Tobin titled her head as she entered into the dining room for the first day of camp to find her teammates huddled and shrieking. Placing her water bottle down and walking over to the food line she ignored the excitement figuring another one of her teammates had gotten engaged, knowing she’d congratulate whoever it was later on when they weren’t hearing it 50 times over. 

She picked out her food and headed over to the round table finding Kelley with the biggest smile on her face. “Aren’t you excited for her?” 

Tobin gave a blank stare as she placed her food on the table and took a seat. “Who’s engaged now?” She laughed, knowing they were at that part in their lives where everyone was getting engaged, married and pregnant. 

“Press!” Kelley cheered as she pointed to the table next to them causing Tobin to choke on her food as her eyes drifted to the table next to them searching for Christens eyes in the sea of people trying to look at her ring, she never found them, only a smile on the woman’s face as she showed off her ring. 

 

“Earth to Tobin?” Kelley threw a carrot at her causing her to lose her concentration and bringing her back to reality. 

“I thought she was going to France to break up with Vero…” Tobin thought back to the conversation she had overheard months ago about Vero not wanting to settle down.

 

“Maybe the thought of actually losing Christen made her realize she was, I mean anyone who has Christen Press pining for their love would be insane to let her go.” Kelley was right, Tobin knew the feeling of insanity all too well. 

 

 

“Hey.” Christen whispered as she slid into the booth at the ice cream parlor next to Tobin. “Having fun a team bonding?” Tobin looked up from her phone, locking the screen and placing it down as she turned towards Christen. 

“I guess.” Tobin laughed, knowing she was being teased for being on her phone the whole time. “Hey, congrats by the way.” She let out in almost a whisper as her eyes finally met Christens for the first time, finding a smile on the woman’s face. “You look really happy.” 

 

“I am, I really am.” Christen broke eye contact as she played with her ring, she couldn’t take the sad eyes from Tobin knowing that she should’ve called the woman she’d been so close with for many years. “Sorry you had to find out this way, I actually got in from Paris last night and it happened right before I left.” 

 

“It’s alright.” She reassured her as she put her arm around her and pulled her into a small hug “It’s a beautiful ring, for the most beautiful girl.” 

 

 

“Christen” The skinny tan girl with raven hair stuck her hand out towards the girl standing in front of her in the dorm room at USSF training camp earning a laugh from the girl. 

“Tobin” Still laughing she shook Christens hand. “First U20 camp?” She teased as Christen blushed. 

“Well since you’re in every camp you should know that right?” Christen shot back earning a flush of embarrassment from Tobin. 

“With your attitude you definitely are going to fit in, let’s go introduce you to all of the girls.” The 16 year old grabbed Christen throwing her arm over her shoulder as she lead her out of the room and down the hall. 

“Just wait until you see my skills on the field.” Christen shoved her away as they entered the common room where a ping-pong tournament was going on. “Kell!” She yelled towards the hyper girl playing ping-pong.

“Dammit” Kelley yelled as she threw her paddle down at the loss and ran over to her best friend. “Tobin! You found my very best friend” 

“Seems to be much more bearable than you.” She stuck her tongue out, loving to tease her teammate. 

“You should see her on the field, if you’re lucky Tobs you’ll get to assist one of her goals. You’ll have to definitely fight me for the honor though.”

“Sounds like a challenge.” Raising her eyebrow she turned on her heel and out of the room. 

 

Tobin ran down the flank beating every German defender as she looked for one of the forwards to cross to, she watched for one of them to call for the ball and sent it in watching as it landed at Alex’s feet the ball going straight past the goalkeeper. 80th minute she watched from the sidelines as Kelley crossed in a ball that landed perfectly at Christens foot, with her almost perfect touch she shot it in the upper 90 causing the bench to lose their mind as well as everyone on the field. 

 

“Should’ve been me.” Tobin sat on her bed pondering the game, jealous that Kelley got to assist Christens goal for her first U20 cap. 

“What?” Christen put her book down and turned towards her. 

“I should’ve assisted you!” She threw her hands in the air causing a small laugh from the girl that sent chills down her spine. “That way when you become a hot shot on the full national team I can brag that I assisted your first ever goal for your country.”

“You really think I have a chance?” She asked a little insecure, but she was instantly comforted by the girl on the bed across the room. 

“There’s no doubt in my mind that one day I’ll be assisting a goal on the full national team for you.” 

“You’re pretty great at fueling a girls ego you know?” She teased back. “This friendship is gonna go along just fine.” 

 

 

 

“Jesus christ, fix your face.” Cheney walked up to Tobin who was sitting at a table by herself as everyone enjoyed themselves on the dance floor. 

“What’s wrong with my face?” Tobin protested as Kelley joined the conversation. 

“You look like a love sick puppy who can’t stand another moment of watching the love of her life getting ready to marry the woman who doesn’t even want to be married to her.” Kelley spoke out harshly earning a slight slap from Cheney. 

“Be a little louder O’Hara, we aren’t at their engagement party surrounded by their family or anything.” Cheney rolled her eyes as she took a seat next to Tobin. “ You had a crush on her at our first U20 camp, you realized you really liked her when we won the championship with her for Pali Blues, and you fell in love with her at the 2012 olympic final and you realized she was the one you wanted to marry when we won the world cup.” Cheney’s words weren’t harsh but they were truth that made chills run down Tobin’s whole body. “Because when all of your dreams came true you realized she was the one you wanted standing next to you, you realized she was the one you wanted to celebrate with.”

 

“She’s happy, she’s in love. I would never take that away from her.” Tobin held her glass in her hand and as she swished around the whiskey sitting in the bottom. “She doesn’t want to marry me.” 

 

 

“We won!” Christen leaped into Tobin's arms both of them holding on tightly. “I’m so proud of you.” 

“No I’m proud of you.” She put the girl down but kept her close enough to catch eye contact wanting nothing more to kiss Christen but all she could do was look at her with that big goofy smile of hers. “You’re one step away from full national team, I’m telling you. Finish college and you’re going to be starting at the next Olympics with me.” She had always had a crush on Christen but watching the girl smile at her after the long summer they had turned something inside of her. 

 

“Great assist today.” Christen slid into the booth next to Tobin as they sat in the corner of the bar celebrating their Pali Blue’s championship game. 

“It was all Alex.” She sipped her drink as she watched a tipsy Christen scoot in closer to her. “But thank you.” 

“I can’t believe summer is over, what am I going to do without you? I’m gonna have to go to the beach by myself in the morning to do yoga, I’ll miss watching you surf!” 

“Only hanging with me because you love watching me surf? I am offended.” She joked out, she had graciously enjoyed every morning with Christen even though she hated waking up early. Every morning they were at the same coffee spot at 7 am grabbing it to go before they headed to the beach and did their separate activities. 

“No no.” She scooted closer once again, hugging Tobin, loving the way Tobin's arm wrapped around her back holding her in that spot, as she moved closer to her ear, a loud whisper over the music in the bar. “I have very much enjoyed every moment this summer with you. Thank you for being so great with me, thank you for always encouraging me when I was down.” 

Tobin turned her face, inches from Christen. “Always.” She loud whispered back before being broken from her concentration by a loud Kelley and Alex who were pulling them both up out of the booth and towards the dance floor. 

 

 

“Chris?” Tobin spoke out in the dark as she opened her front door at 2 am. “What are you-“ She was cut off by the girl crashing into her the scent of the woman engulfing her as she backed them up into the house. A million thoughts ran through her mind as to why the woman was standing at her door at 2 am the night before her wedding. 

Christen didn’t speak, only letting go and grabbing Tobin’s hand and leading her to the dark bedroom, she took off her hoody and climbed into the bed silently and under the covers as she waited for Tobin to join her. Still confused and lost in her thoughts, Tobin finally followed and joined her under the covers, chills running through her body as Christen instantly clung to her, the tears still flowing from her eyes as they soaked Tobin's shirt her face hid in the base of Tobin's neck, and her legs intertwined with Tobin’s. Christens crying slowed down as she felt the a kiss on her forehead and a warm hand running up and down her back. 

 

 

“We won the fucking Olympics!” Christen screamed as she ran into Tobin's awaiting arms on the field. “I scored a goal in the Olympic final! All thanks to you! It’s like you predicted it years ago.” 

“What?” Tobin laughed as she held the girl in her arms. 

“When we won Pali Blue’s you told me one day you’d assist my goal and that I’d be at the next Olympics with you.”

“You’re right, I did ” Tobin cheered as the girl hugged her so tight she felt like she couldn’t breathe but she didn’t care, the smile and the excitement in her voice meant everything to Tobin. 

“I wouldn’t have wanted to win this gold medal with anyone else Tobin, thank you for believing in me.” She pulled away to find happy tears and a huge smile on the girls face. 

Tobin’s heart ached in a way that told her it was no longer a childish crush. This time after winning she wanted to do more than just kiss her, she wanted to take her back to the hotel and celebrate and afterwards she wanted to take her out to dinner and show her off. She wanted to take Christen back to New Jersey during the victory tour and show her off to her family. 

 

 

 

“Do you love me?” Christen whispered out as her tears slowed won, almost scaring Tobin as she broke the silence.

“Of course I do.” She replied in a whisper, continuing to rub her back. 

“No.” Christen sat up, her face barely visible under the night light in the room. She wiped her tears as Tobin sat up as well. “Are you in love with me?” 

Tobin was silent as she broke eye contact with Christen and stared down into her lap, after enough time she finally looked up at the crying girl in front of her. 

“I…” She paused, trying to find the right words. “Yes.” She just simply stated, trying to gage the way Christen was going to respond but she just stared back holding eye contact.  
“For how long?” 

“Chris…” She breathed out as she ran her hands through her hair. 

“How long have you been in love with me Tobin?” She sternly asked, stabbing Tobin’s heart with every word out of her mouth. 

“Since the 2012 Olympics.” She whispered out as she broke eye contact with Christen as she heard a scoff. 

“Are you FUCKING kidding me?” Christen stood up pacing back and forth as she ran her hands through her hair. “Since 20 fucking 12. Is this a joke?”


	2. Life Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this was a lot longer than I originally planned, sorry for the wait and any grammatical errors!! Enjoy

“I’m sorry.” She whispered out again, not wanting to even hear herself say those words. 

“You’re sorry?” Christen continued to pace. “I spent the last 5 fucking years hiding feelings in relationships trying to convince myself that I couldn’t ever be with you, that you never felt the same way, that it would ruin our friendship.”

“You…. what?” Was all she could get out as she looked at her. 

 

It was the 2015 World Cup Final, Tobin had scored in the final that eventually led to a win for the team, earning them their 3rd star. Tobin stood on the podium with the medal around her neck watching her dreams come true once again as Christen stood next to her and smiled as they all jumped around to the music, the noise drained out and all she could see was the girl next to her. Several minutes later Christen ran to her on the field with the trophy in her hand demanding a picture and once again everything drowned out as she only saw Christen standing in front of her with their trophy. It was that cliche moment, in her head all she saw was Christen walking down the aisle, she saw their kids running around in the backyard kicking a soccer ball around, she saw her future but in that moment she pushed it back and grabbed Christen picking her up as they posed for the photographer. 

 

“I can’t sleep!” Christen slurred as she barged into the open hotel room finding Tobin passed out on her bed. 

“What?” Tobin sat up, still dazed and drunk. She looked at the clock as she groaned realizing it was 3 am. “Why are you in here?” 

“We won a World Cup! How can you sleep?” A drunk christen climbed onto the bed and sat on top of Tobin who just stared up at the girl who had woken her up. 

“Alcohol… not everyone acts like an energizer bunny when they drink.” Tobin begged for her to turn the bright light off she had flipped on when entering the room so Christen did as she pleased before coming back and sitting on top of Tobin once again, this time she had taken her shirt off and was just wearing a sports bra with shorts. “Chris.” She whined. 

 

“Mmmm Tobin.” She stared down at her, before she began tracing her fingers under Tobin's shirt causing chills throughout Tobin’s whole body that jolted her awake. 

“What are you doing?” She whispered but Christen ignored her as she leaned down and began to place small kisses along Tobin’s jawline, her hands still roaming Tobin’s abdomen. 

“I’m celebrating.” Christen whispered into Tobin’s ear before she moved down and began to kiss her neck. “I want to be world champion of more than one thing tonight.” She came up to meet Tobin's face, ghosting over her lips as she husked out the words. She could tell by Tobin’s breathing that she was torturing her, creating a vindictive smile on her face but it only lasted a second as Tobin’s hand came up to the back of her head, crashing their lips together as Tobin flipped them, letting her have control. 

 

 

“Bed.” Was all she could get out before her eyes fluttered shut, grabbing the covers and slipping it over their naked bodies. “Come here” She pulled the woman towards her as she turned on her side, placing a kiss on Christens shoulder blade as she slowly slipped back into sleep. 

“Tobs.” She whispered turning around and facing her. 

“Mmm” She tried her best to pull herself from the state she was in, but she could barely fight it. 

“Winning a World Cup with you is a dream come true” Christen leaned in kissing Tobin’s nose as she moved the hair out of Tobin’s face. “I can’t wait to tell our kids about it one day.” 

“Mmm me too.” Tobin placed a kiss on Christens forehead before she finally gave in and fell back asleep, Christen watched the woman sleeping for a minute before feeling satisfied enough to turn around and snuggle back into Tobin, loving the feeling of her slow and steady breathing against her bare back. 

 

The next morning came all too early when Lauren barged in at 7:30 am dragging a hungover and still drunk Kelley behind her, Lauren’s voice was enough to jolt Tobin out of her sleep. 

“Tobin, I found your roommate passed out in the equipment room!” She yelled as Kelley face planted on the other bed. 

She whined as she began rubbing her eyes and once she opened them she was being stared at by Lauren who’s eyebrow was raised and pointing to Christen passed out in Tobin’s arms. 

“What is that about?” 

“My head.” Christen whined. “Fuck.” 

“Press didn’t wanna sleep alone.” Tobin smiled as she pulled the covers further up as she watched Christen sink into them further, avoiding the light. 

 

“I just couldn’t sleep and Alex wasn’t in our room. I came in here and Kelley was god knows where.” 

“Passed out in the equipment room with a piece of pizza on her stomach.” Lauren clarified, earning a groan from Kelley. 

“Get up kiddos, we have interviews!” Lauren clapped her hands. “Kelley you might want to cover your eyes since those two are naked.” A loud laugh and a wink towards a side eye from Tobin Lauren left the room. 

“I’m so hungover and still drunk I’m not even going to bother.” Kelley stood up and walked to the bathroom, almost tripping and falling flat on her face. 

 

Christen pointed to the 3rd star on her jersey as she walked and danced to where Tobin was standing on the set. “This is so cool. This is going to be the best story to tell our kids one day.” Christen winked at Tobin earning a smile. 

Tobin thought for a second before changing her mind. “Yea, maybe they can be best friends and win a world cup together.” She gave a soft smile.

 

“Uh yea.” Christen just nodded. All she could think about was how wrong she had been reading the situation, something she felt like she was always doing. “Tobin, last night…” 

“So it goes…” Tobin smiled and kissed her best friends cheek. “World Champion at many things Press.” She laughed and walked away, never bringing it up again. 

 

 

“I just want to say that this goes both ways.” Tobin fully awake now defended herself against a pacing Christen. 

“You were always the one pushing me away from crossing those boundaries again.” 

“Because you were always back and forth with Vero! I just thought you would say those things or act that way because you were lonely and missing her, I was just the loser in love with you who comforted you when you were sad!” Once again defending herself Tobin let out a huff as Christen finally stopped pacing and stared her down. 

 

“I was back and forth with Vero because I kept trying to get over you, my heavy drinking and partying after the World Cup was to convince myself I didn’t need you, it was the only way I could bare the fact that you really made it feel like you never had any feelings for me.” She threw her hands in the air. “I got back with Vero and settled for her no matter how much she has had her commitment issues”

“Chris…” Rubbing her face she connected eyes with Christen and couldn’t break the hold. 

“Every part of my love life has involved you since god I think I may have had puppy love the first time I met you when I was 16. I have been in love with you since we were kids Tobin!” She shouted, catching both of them by surprise. “All the heartbreak, all those boys and then girls that I let break me, I let them break me because the sting of that pain distracted me from the pain of knowing you’d never be in love with me. How could you not tell? After the World Cup? God that night was just amazing.” 

“That was an amazing night.” Tobin smiled slightly thinking back to it. “Nonetheless I was going to talk to you once we were on the victory tour because I needed time to process and assure myself it meant just as much to you as it did to me. I show up at camp and surprise surprise you’re —back with Vero and I found that out because I saw you kissing her in the lobby!”  
“Tobin… you never replied to my text and when you did it was barely anything. How was I supposed to know?”

 

“How could you not tell? Syds wedding after the world cup?” 

“Seriously! Dancing to a cheesy song? That’s how you expect me to know you felt the same?” She scoffed. “To a Beach Boys song!” Christen suppressed the smile she felt creeping on her face, she remembered Tobin requesting the song and forcing her onto the dance floor for the cheesy but such Tobin song. 

 

“You’re infuriating. You know I’m not good at this shit!” 

 

 

“If every word I said could make you laugh I’d talk forever.” Tobin sang her heart out as she held Christen close, her arms around her waist. “I’ve been so happy loving you.” She sang as her forehead rested on Christens. “Let the love I have for you live in your heart and be forever.” Tobin placed a kiss on her nose before she backed up and twirled Christen around. “Forever.” She swayed and picked up the tempo with the song before bringing Christen back in. 

 

“Another jam!” Kelley yelled as she passed them on the dance floor causing them both to laugh as Marry You by Bruno Mars began to blare through the speakers, the dance floor becoming crowded but the two of them stayed just close enough as they danced together to the song, Tobin spinning Christen enough times she wasn't sure if she was drunk or just dizzy. 

 

 

“That was the last song I ever danced with you too and….” She trailed off as the conversation changed back to being serious. 

“Why am I here? I get married in like 10 hours.” Christen placed her hand on her forehead as her face became heated, beginning to panic. 

“Why are you here?” Tobin countered, reaching out from the bed for Christens hand who reluctantly grabbed it and found her place on the bed again. 

“She’s good and she’s safe, she loves me. She changed her life for me when I’ve been pining over someone since I was 16. Jesus.” Christen let the guilt sink in. 

“She loves you.” Tobin reassured her. “And you love her Christen, you said yes.” 

“Tobin.” Christen grabbed her hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. “I didn’t say I do and if you tell me right now not to I won’t. I’ll call it all off.” 

Tobin closed her eyes, she was exhausted, heartbroken and trying her best to not to cry but she couldn’t stop the tears from falling this time. “Marry her.” 

“Tob-“ She tried to speak but was cut off. 

“You are going to be the most- “ Tobin stopped herself for a second, choking back tears. “The most beautiful bride there ever was. I’ll be there, I would never miss this day.” She reached for Christen, her hands on the woman face wiping the tears as she kissed her forehead. 

“Tobin..” She tried again but was once again cut off. 

“Let’s go to sleep, you have to have your beauty sleep.” So for one last time Christen climbed under the covers and into Tobin’s arms, immediately feeling Tobin's silent tears wet the back of her shirt. 

 

 

“You look pretty!” Kelley slapped Tobin's arm as they met up at the entrance of the wedding waiting for the rest of the group. “ready to stop a wedding?” Kelley teased but immediately stopped when she saw the somber look on the beautiful girls face. 

“What happened?” Kelley questioned taking Tobin's face into her hands as she studied her brown eyes. 

“Well for starters, the woman she loves is getting married today and she never got up the guts to tell her.” Alex scoffed but stopped when she saw Tobin divert her eyes and look at the ground, still letting Kelley hold her face. 

“No… something happened.” Kelley stated, all of a sudden more concerned than she originally was. “Tobs, look at me” Kelley pleaded as she saw tears wallow in Tobin's eyes. 

“What is going on?” Lauren walked up to the small group immediately being engulfed by Tobin clinging to her as she broke Kelley’s hold. 

“I’m good, just needed a Cheney hug.” Tobin broke away wiping her tears with a small fake smile on her face, causing her to receive the 3 women to look at her suspiciously. 

“Something is up” Cheney spoke out as Kelley and Alex nodded following closely behind as Tobin walked into the venue, stopping at the table with the guest book and pictures of Christen and Vero. She immediately reached into her purse and took out a flask downing the whiskey as the 3 girls looked at her in disbelief. 

“I’m not going to make it through without it.” She shrugged as she scoffed at the table and kept walking until she found a seat in the back row ignoring the confused glances from her teammates who were sitting a few rows up.

 

“I’ll sit with her.” Kelley volunteered as Alex and Cheney nodded and joined the rest of the team. “Now tell me what happened.” She demanded as she grabbed Tobin's purse away from her. 

 

“She showed up at my house at 3 am asking me if I was in love with her.” She whispered grabbing the purse back from Kelley and taking another swig of whiskey. 

“And?” Kelley looked at her dumbfounded. 

“I told her the truth and then she said she’s liked me since we were 16 then tried to put the blame on me so we went back and forth until I finally just gave up. There was no sense in causing anymore pain. She told me to tell her not to marry Vero.” Another swig of whiskey as she felt the burn she looked down at the ground to avoid anxious Kelley. 

“And!”

“I told her to marry her.” Tobin shrugged, another swig going down. “If she loved me like she said she did, she would be able to make that decision herself. I promised her I wouldn’t miss it so I here I am.” 

“You’re a fucking dumbass.” Kelley shook her head and grabbed the whiskey taking a swig on her own. “Now I have to drink because I’m depressed. Tobs you finally had your chance, you had it all right in front of you.. 

“She had me right in front of her, I can’t make decisions for people Kelley.” Tobin tried to get her point across but Kelley wasn’t having it. “I can’t mess it up for her now, I would never do that.” -

“Tobs…” Kelley was about to speak out as the music started but quieted not wanting others to hear her. “This is your final chance.” They both stood up watching the wedding party walk down the aisle, Tobin caught a glance of Christen hiding in the corner who was in deep conversation with her father, a smile plastered on her face as her father looked nervous. 

“Tell her she’s beautiful and that I’m sorry I couldn’t stay. See you in Hawaii” Tobin hurriedly out of the row, leaving Kelley dumbfounded as the rest of the team looked on confused. 

 

She got on her dress now, welcoming the guests now  
I could try to find her, get it off of my chest now  
But I ain't gonna mess it up, so I'll wish her the best no

 

 

Ain’t it funny how life changes? You wake up and ain’t nothing the same. 

 

 

The morning sun peaked through the curtains, causing the woman to stir and eventually open her eyes, accepting the fact that she wasn’t getting anymore sleep. She rolled over, a smile appearing on her face as she threw her arm around the body next to her, kissing the undressed woman’s shoulder blade as she moved the hair out of the way. She worked her way up her shoulder blade to the back of her neck before landing on the woman's ear, ghosting over it as she whispered good morning. 

Turning over onto her side, staring into her favorite green eyes she reached up and kissed the other woman, not even caring about their morning breath. “Good morning my love.” 

 

“Mommys!” They heard small steps patter down the hallway causing them both to sit up and grab their discarded clothes on the floor. 

“3, 2, 1…” Tobin counted down the steps of the child landing just on 1 as the door handle twisted open and a slightly awake toddler crashed onto their bed immediately finding Tobin and snuggling into her neck as she climbed onto her. “Good morning my baby.”

 

“It’s big day!” Their daughter sat up on top of her mother as she wiggled around. “Wedding!” the 3 year old threw her hands in the air. 

“Are you excited baby?” Christen reached over and rubbed her daughters back.

“Yes!” 

“You know who else is probably excited? Aunt Kel and she’s downstairs in the guest room.” Tobin winked at her daughter as she watched the excitement grow on her face, not knowing Kelley had flown in late at night. 

“Why don’t you go wake her up?” Christen enticed her daughter, knowing she would love nothing more than to wake up her Aunt. 

“Okay!” The toddler hopped off of Tobin running straight for the door and shutting it behind her, her parents laughing as they listened to the pitter patter of her steps as she went down the stairs. 

 

“We’re so bad.” Christen laughed as Tobin brought her into her arms, kissing the womans lips for a second time. 

“It’s our wedding day, we get a pass on being good friends.” Tobin began moving her hands up Christens shirt, her lips finding her neck at the same time. “Mmm, happy wedding day.” She breathlessly breathed out against Christens neck. 

“And no sex until tonight.” She laughed as she pushed Tobin's hands away and placed a kiss on her lips. “Now, I’m going to get ready and head to my sisters and the next time I see you, you better be looking very hot and crying at the alter because of how beautiful I’m going to be.” She winked as she hopped out of bed, catching the puppy eye dogs she was receiving. 

“Hey?” Tobin called out as she watched Christen turn on her heal. 

“Mmm?” She turned around, smiling at the woman who was now walking over to her and wrapping her arms around her waist. 

She leaned her forehead up against Christens, staring into her favorite eyes. “I love you.” 

“I love you more.” Christen kissed Tobin's nose and then placed a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Not possible.” Tobin smiled as she earned an eye roll. 

 

Christen drove down the road, smiling as she took in the sites while focusing on where she was going, the radio drowned out as she thought back to the events that lead up to this day. All of the heartache they had endured, the waiting and planning. The plans that got thrown out of the window for bigger and better plans had all lead to this day. 

 

“Chris.” She heard a whisper from behind her, turning around confused. “What are you doing?” She let out a nervous laugh as Vero grabbed her hand and pulled her away from her distracted father. 

“What are we doing?” Vero let out a nervous laugh herself as they stood hidden in the back of their own wedding.

“Getting married?” Christen looked at her confused, panic filling her face. 

“We shouldn’t be getting married.” Vero shook her head and let out another nervous laugh as she looked at Christens panic filled face. “I love you, I always will but come on…” She shook her head. 

“What?”  
“We are not in love.” Vero shook her head and grabbed Christens face between her hands. “We deserve to be in love.” 

Christen was silent for a minute, was she really getting stood up at the altar? 

“You’re right.” Now it was her nervous laughing. “This is crazy.” 

 

“Let’s run, let’s leave this place.” Vero let go of Christens face and grabbed her hand as she began walking towards the exit. Christen followed behind as she heard the car unlock, getting in and for the next hour they drove, calling their family to tell them what happened and then driving silently as the music played low. 

 

“Thank you.” Christen looked over as she squeezed Vero’s hand that was putting the car in park. “Call me when you make it back to Paris okay?” Vero nodded and leaned over kissing Christens cheek softly. 

“May we both find the love we deserve.” Vero whispered as she wiped a tear that ran down Christens face. “The one where we don’t have to settle.” Kissing her cheek one last time she watched as a small smile formed on Christens face before she rushed out of the car and into her house. 

 

 

“Christen!” Kelley banged on the door as she stood outside of the beach house, infuriated and frustrated. After 5 minutes she walked over to the garage, putting the code in and impatiently waiting for it to open before she walked in the door to find Christen curled up on the couch sleeping. “Good thing I’m not a murderer.” Kelley laughed as she sat down next to Christen and poked her, earning a scream and wide eyes from the girl. 

“Dammit Kelley.” She huffed out as she pulled the blanket back on her and brought her needs to her chest. 

“Excuse me… it’s been 3 days since you abandoned your wedding and not a single person has heard from you.” Kelley looked at her dumbfounded as Christens eyes diverted her. 

“I just got my sisters to leave me alone, now I have to deal with you” She huffed out before she finally got the courage to look Kelley in the eyes, she softened when she realized how concerned the woman was. “I’m okay Kel..” She started off as she took a deep breath and explained everything to Kelley. 

 

“And…I’m sure you’re wondering where Tobin is?” Kelley asked when Christen was finally done explaining. 

“I tried every way of getting in contact with her.” Christen looked away, embarrassed. 

“Don’t be embarrassed” Kelley assured her. “She knows, I spoke to her right after it happened but she was boarding a plane to Hawaii.” 

Christen just looked at Kelley, confusion was written all over her face. 

“I’m meeting up with her tomorrow, we planned this trip the second you set your date knowing she’d need to go surf and travel” 

“She doesn't need to do that anymore!” Christen threw her hands in the air. “I’m right here, I’m ready” 

“No, you’re not.” Kelley spoke softly, connecting eyes with Christen. “We’re going to be surfing and traveling around Hawaii for a little over a month before camp.” She watched Christens eyes drop, knowing it probably made her stomach drop. “You should take that time to sort out everything because I know you love Tobin but this is not a movie, your feelings about Vero and everything are not going to go poof.” 

“She’s not going to wait that long Kelley.” The tears fell down her face as she felt Kelley’s arm go around her and pull her into her side. 

“She’d wait forever for you Chris.” Kelley placed a comforting kiss on the top of Christens head. “You take this time off from soccer and deal with everything. She’ll be back in a little under 2 months.” 

 

 

Christen drove up the driveway and placed her car in park, sitting for a moment as she looked at the all too familiar beach house that was now her sisters. She got out of the car, noticing no one else had arrived yet so she’d have the perfect amount of time to walk down to the beach. She sat in the sand, staring at the waves as the memories continued to flow through her head. The hardest moments of her life were spent sitting in this exact spot and in the house behind her. The hardest month of self loathing and heart break were all here, but here she was 3 years later smiling as she reminded herself she made it through to this day, this perfect day. 

 

 

-I don’t know who I am without you, I got it bad baby, Oh tell me you love me…I need someone on days like this I do… can you hear my heart say … you ain’t nobody till you got somebody -

 

3 am her phone rang, waking her up out a dead sleep she answered the phone and smashed it against her face, wincing in pain. 

“Are you awake?” The all too familiar voice was more than enough to jolt her awake as she fought off the grogginess.

“It’s 3 am.” She rubbed her eyes in a confused daze. 

“Open your door” The woman whispered on the other end of the phone. 

“What?” She repeated as she sat up. 

“Open your door.” The woman hung up the phone, not giving her a chance to answer. So Christen grabbed her sweatshirt and slipped on her moccasins trucking out of her bedroom.. She felt this nervousness rush over her as she turned the lock on the door handle and then turned it to force it over. 

She felt her chest sink in when she opened the door to the exhausted woman with luggage behind her. Without speaking she moved out of the way as Tobin moved inside and brought her large pieces of luggage with her. 

The next second she was being picked up by the woman and taken to her bedroom as she clung onto the woman's neck, breathing in her scent.. She gently placed Christen on the bed before she crawled onto it and hovered over Christen, her forehead meeting Christens, their breaths synchronizing as they took each other in. 

“Tell me you love me.” Tobin whispered, her voice full of pain and hurt. 

“I love you so much” Christen whispered. “And I’m so sorry.” 

Tobin took slightly deeper breaths as she heard the words out of Christens mouth, feeling tears forming in her eyes and her chest becoming heavy, letting small sobs escape her lips. She tried to hold it together but the flood gates opened, her body shaking as she cried and collapsed to the side of Christen, eventually succumbing to Christens arms. 

 

“Oh Tobin…” She whispered as tears flowed down her face at the sight of the woman breaking down. 

“You… you… you..” Tobin stuttered as her breathing took away her ability to speak. “You were there, about to walk down the aisle to marry her. You chose her. Why would you do that to me? To yourself?”

Christen didn’t speak as she watched the woman in visible pain, all she wanted was to calm Tobin down. 

Tobin tried to slow her breathing but failed miserably as the tears kept falling and with every kiss placed on her head by Christen she felt more tears come, tears that had been a month in the making. Exhausted, she closed her eyes to the sounds of the waves and Christens breathing. 

 

And just like that what she had prayed wouldn’t be the case was exactly the case. Tobin had spent 2 months traveling and ignoring the pain instead of working through it, she closed her eyes feeling like she was back at square one again. 

 

Waking up she felt instant panic as she didn’t feel arms around her, prepared to be disappointed she rolled onto her back and rubbed her puffy eyes but was surprised when she saw the woman next to her still. She slowly got out of the bed, trying to not wake the woman up as she left the room. 

 

“Tobs, you can’t do that.” Kelley shook her head as they walked down the beach with their coffee in hand, Tobin recounting last night. “Don’t push her back to square 1, she worked so hard to be where she is now.” 

“Yea well sometimes you just need to be broken together.” Tobin stared at the water, taking a sip of coffee as her words came out harsh but truthful and Kelley couldn’t find an argument valid to go against her. 

“Don’t lose her.” Kelley sternly warned, earning a glance from Tobin. “Push her but don’t break her anymore.” 

“I would never”She took a deep breath before she stuck her hand out for a handshake and headed in the opposite direction. 

 

“Hey.” Tobin whispered as the woman opened the door, her hair was in a messy bun, her shorts and t shirt hinting that she wasn’t planning on going anywhere for the rest of the day. Cupping her cheeks Tobin closed her eyes and kissed the woman head gently. “Can I come in?” The silent treatment seemed to be the name of the game so Christen just nodded allowing Tobin to enter. 

 

“Can you speak to me?” Tobin pleaded as Christen refused to make eye contact with her. 

“No.” She scoffed out, taking the blanket that was on the couch and wrapping herself in it just like she had for the past month. “2 months! NOTHING. Then you show up at MY house, leave me alone in the morning and then here you are appearing again.” 

 

“I need you to know .…” Tobin pulled Christen into her arms so that their faces were inches apart, their eyes meeting. “That I want you and I want this. I never want to lose this but we can never get to forever if we don’t heal first. We have to talk it out, we have to be broken together.” Tobin pleaded with her, using every bit of self control to not kiss her, god how she missed those lips. 

“Tell me you love me.” Christen pleaded, her eyes and body begging to hear Tobin say those words, but Tobin just stared at her. “I’m not ever choosing anyone over you again.”

“What’s the difference now?” Tobin stood up, suddenly not wanting to be close to Christen. “You were there Chris, in your wedding dress, I saw you with your father. You were minutes away from walking down the aisle. I hear you weren’t even the one who called it off.” 

“Tobin…” She didn’t know what to say because Tobin was exactly right. 

“She called it off!” Tobin yelled towards her, catching Christen by surprise. “You…” She pointed at her. “You were about to walk down that aisle and say I do. She stopped it.” 

“I wasn’t in love with her Tobin.” Christen promised. “I was thinking that whole time standing in the back if I could really go through with it, I saw you get up and leave. I know you don’t think I did but I did.” Crossing her arms she continued to speak as Tobin just stared at her. 

“And you didn’t come after me? you just watched me walk away. What kind of person knows that they’re about to make a mistake and watches the supposed love of their life walk away? Who does that? Who puts someone through that kind of pain?” 

“You told me the night before to marry her! You told me that.” Christen fired back, needing not all of the blame to fall on her because it wasn’t all of her fault. 

“Because here I was… Jesus.” Tobin threw her hands in the air. “Here I was with you in front of me and you’re asking me to tell you not to marry her! If you had really loved me like you claimed you wouldn’t have needed to hear me say that. You would’ve made that decision without me. Chris when I think of losing you, I lose all of the air in my chest, I feel physical pain. Looking at you in your wedding dress knowing it wasn’t our wedding was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.” 

Tobin once again had tears in her eyes as Christen just stared up at her from the couch. “You broke me, you broke me into a million pieces. I purposefully didn’t spend my time away healing because I needed you to see how much you really hurt me.” Once again Tobin was sobbing as she stood in front of Christen, here she was, letting Christen really see her and it broke Christens heart into pieces. 

Christen couldn’t stand it anymore, she stood up and grabbed Tobin pulling her close to her and leaning her forehead against hers as she took Tobin's face between her hands. 

“Fight for me” Tobin sobbed out. “You have to see how much you hurt me because I need you to realize how much I love you, I need you to fight for me. This is not a movie, you can’t leave her and expect me to be happy and cheery. I’m broken, I’m so broken Christen and you not marrying her doesn’t fix that automatically.” 

“I know.” She whispered, closing her eyes as they both cried. 

 

Christen felt tears in her eyes as she looked back at the house, remembering the days and nights they spent crying in each others arms, healing together. How heartbreaking it would be one moment and how in love they would feel the next moment. It was one of the hardest times of her life spending it with Tobin, barely leaving the house for 3 weeks. She remembers begging Tobin as tears fell endlessly down her face to tell her that she loved her, Tobin refusing and bringing up another thing for them to fight and workout. In those moments she hated Tobin for how much it hurt that she wouldn’t tell her, but she’ll never forget when Tobin finally did say them. 

 

“Hey..” Tobin whispered as she rubbed the bareback of the woman, waking her up out of her sleep. 

“Mmm..” Christen didn’t bother to open her eyes, enjoying the quiet of the night. “Tobs I’m too tired for another round.” She slightly opened her eyes as she heard a small laugh come from the woman next to her, hearing even that small laugh felt like heaven to Christen. Anything that didn’t involve tears was like heaven to her this past week of pain and frustration. 

Tobin moved the hair out of Christens face as she leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you” She whispered, just loud enough that Christen barely heard her. 

“Say that again” Christen smiled, tears forming in her eyes. 

“Only if you don’t cry.” Tobin teased as she placed a peck on Christens lips. “I love you, I’m so in love with you and I’m sorry it took my stubborn ass so long to finally let you hear those words.” 

“I love you.” Christen leaned up, stealing another kiss. 

 

 

Her favorite moment on this beach was the day they brought their daughter home and she got to see the ocean and feel the sand for the first time in her life. Christen remembers her fear of the water as it rolled ashore, she remembers her giggles as Tobin built a sand castle with her. 

 

“Look at our daughter.” Tobin smiled proudly as she watched the child excitedly threw sand in the bucket. “Oh no, why are you crying?” Tobin looked over at Christen who had eyes filled with tears. 

“I am just so happy.” Christen leaned over and kissed Tobin's cheek. “It took us over a year to get our baby home and look at her being a little beach bum.” 

“She’s pretty perfect huh?” Tobin lightly hip checked Christen as the memories flew through her mind of her first trip to Africa with Christen to volunteer through Grass Roots Soccer and how they decided to stop at a orphanage and spend a week their volunteering. The minute they held her in their arms, they knew they were smitten. 

“We’re pretty crazy.” Christen laughed. “Shot gun court house wedding so we could fill out adoption papers, flying to Africa, skipping out on national team camps to see her.” 

“We risked it all.” Tobin recounted. 

“That’s what family is all about.” Christen leaned over and kissed her legal wife. “But you still have to actually be romantic and do the whole shebang you know.” Christen teased as she brought her hand up and pointed at her ringless finger. “Big rock.” She winked. 

“Oh, don’t you worry.” 

 

 

“How in the world, did you get married and have a kid in just in 2 years? Who are you Tobin?” Kelley teased as Lauren shook her head flipping pancakes. 

“You nervous? She’s kinda too hot for you” Now it was Lauren’s turn to tease Tobin on her wedding day, a laugh from all 3 women.

 

“Not a shot in hell, I’ve been waiting for this day since I was 16.” She smiled brightly as she watched Zoe play in the living room with Jrue. 

“Yea, yea we know… we were all there when you proposed on that same stupid field.” 

 

“Why are we here?” Christen laughed as Tobin pulled her out of the car after their dinner date to the very familiar USSF fields. “I’m too full to train right now Tobs and these boots are not made for soccer.” 

“Come on.” She laughed as she wrapped her arms around Christen from behind and forced her to the center of the soccer pitch that was lit up. 

“What did you break in here and turn the lights up?” 

“This..” Tobin smiled as she let go of Christen and pointed at the goal post. “Is the first field we ever played on together and the first goal you ever scored for country, I’m still very bitter about the fact that Kelley assisted you.” They both laughed as Christen bit her lip and rolled her eyes at how stupid Tobin could be. “And that..” She pointed towards the dorms in the distance. “Is where we met and became roommates at 16. 

“Very fond memories kicking your ass in ping pong.” Christen teased as Tobin ignored her comment and continued to speak. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, anyway. I’m trying to be romantic.” She connected eyes with the woman, the biggest smile on her face. “To celebrate 6 months of being Zoe’s parents, I thought I’d bring you out here and just reminisce about how far we’ve come, back when I was 16 I dreamed of all the trophies I could win as a soccer player but what I didn't realize was that having you beside me in all of those moments was more important than the trophies themselves. When all of my wildest dreams came true as a player, you were the one I wanted by my side. Now all of my wildest dreams about my future are coming true and I realized the moment I saw Zoe in your arms that I wanted you to stand by me for the rest of my life.”

“Tobs.” Christen whispered as tears fell down her face, watching the nervous woman in front of her. 

“I want you next to me when my wildest dreams are coming true and hell I want you there when they aren’t. I want you there, by my side for whatever life throws at us. I want to raise Zoe with you, and our other future children. I want you forever.” She choked out as she got down on knee, Christen covering her mouth in surprise as she watched Tobin pull out the ring. 

 

“Yes! Yes!” Christen shouted but Tobin just laughed. 

“Can I ask you first?” Christen blushed as she nodded, slightly embarrassed. 

“Will you marry-“ She was cut off by Christen pulling her up and into a deep kiss, pulling away as they heard the cheers of their families and best friends. Tobin slipped the large diamond her finger just as Zoe crashed into both of their legs. 

Kelley danced over with a bluetooth speaker in her arm as she changed the song to Forever by The Beach Boys. 

“Corny.” Christen laughed hysterically as Tobin held Zoe in one arm and pulled her in with her free one, swaying to the song. 

“I’ve been so happy loving you.” Tobin sung out, surprised when she heard Christen join in. 

 

 

This time when Christen stood at the back of the wedding ceremony she felt completely different, laughing as she watched her daughter run down the aisle towards Tobin as she forcefully threw the flower pedals towards the guest. She ran into Tobin's arms, earning a kiss form her before she passed her off to Kelley, preparing for Christen to walk it down the aisle. 

“This time I’m cementing your feet to the altar until you say I do.” Her father teased as he hooked his arm with his baby girl. 

“No need for that.” She laughed as her father winked. 

“The moment you two came in the house and told us you were adopting Zoe I thought you were crazy but when you forced us over to Africa to meet her, and I saw you guys together as a family I couldn’t you guys any other way. I’m proud of you baby girl.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek as the music started. 

“Love you.” She whispered to her father as she walked to the top of the ceremony, instantly feeling tears in her eyes as she watched Tobin barely keep it together. 

 

 

“I now pronounce you Mrs. and Mrs. Heath.” The preacher spoke out as everyone in the crowd cheered and whistled, Tobin dipping Christen before bringing her into a deep kiss. 

“I love you.” She whispered as she pulled apart, staring into her favorite green eyes.

“I love you more.” Christen whispered back as she was interrupted by Zoe grabbing at their legs. Tobin took Zoe’s into hers, Christen taking her other hand as they walked down the aisle. 

 

Life changes… and I wouldn’t change it for the world.


End file.
